visceral anxiety

be cool

be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra

but im reaching out
i need to know you care
i need to know you care

be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra




did i trick you
i feel tricked
being aloof is a
state(ment) of my

be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra



but im reaching out
are you there God
it’s me…{     }

new tech

snapchat suicide
notice
testing emergency broadcast systems

no one can hear it on
                               line

if the internet had an alert
would it sound like a
primitive fax scream
would we ev
                 en
                     recognise
                 it
blue screen gif virus
90s style

im already archaic
pecking gorilla glass
eyes

saturn

i say im always joking

but im really half

/serious

she said 

poking 

her finger thru 

yer smoke rings

i cant see

she said am i

expected to touch everything

her feet dragging a

long mislaid tile

i wanted to en

title my book please

kill me but it

s already taken

at a high pitched shrill

the problem is arch

iving 

&

shes the one poking

more holes in

smoke rings

/w

wreathed saturn eyes

i cant feel

am i ex

pected to?

boogie men

you traded yer time piece
for buddhist beads
after stock went down
to the boogie men
underground

how is autocorrect interpreting yer
dreams of houses and children
like a terrance malick movie

pretty & empty
pretty    empty

hollow men ride in towncars
to synth sounds

beasts roam purple mountain majesties

yer just
yer just
getting started

windswept pomeranian
hairstyles
a dog may always look like its smiling
but you always look like yer winking
in a recall of nuerons

theres a woman tapping her nails on the estee lauder counter in Macys
while a man yells from a megaphone in Ueno

simultaneous stimulations
looping loping off 

a tight 

rope

el sebae

the illusion of choice
is livin in the suburbs
we standin over corpses
from thousands of miles away


you buried her image
with yer own hands
around oxygen molecules


a cat walkin
o’er sewer grates
prayer calls
o’er skype 
international ambulance sounds


does medium
does interface
change craft
methods of output
get out that internal
trade regulation


eternity is boring
you sighed last breaths of something
as 

a cat walks
o’er sewer grates
as a murder of crows
perch on high tension lines…

post 2013

2013 hangover
you grab at empty bottles of craft beer over
crumpled designer wrapping paper
once concealing a retractable ski case & scotch rocks


she said she’ll ride in on the year of the horse
she said w/o speaking of

distance

of miles
between past geographies

its easy to see that crazy raises

hell

yer not finished
you still gotta
age & die & clutch yer knees to yer chest

subtext

a lot of us are having conversations without words
digital subtext data
digital subtext data
we arent speaking
we are looking
we are creeping
my voice has never been loud enough
submerged cities, lost cities
the ability
to maintain civility

stop looking @ nothing

i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing

i always told you i was nothing

we are nothing now fer sure fer sure

and those people are gone
and those people are gone
and those people are gone

the past does this
it rolls out behind

i know im…repeating myself
but im stepping into the future with you, now, now, now
happy new year
it’s the 2nd and im stoned and i am afraid to go back
but i am afraid to stay here

i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing

i always told you i was nothing

we are nothing now fer sure fer sure

everything has been stirred
whipped back
foamy froth memories in cool gray air, in cool gray landscapes
i think i cant breath
i think i am having another anxiety attack

i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing

i always told you i was nothing

we are nothing now fer sure

mandy

my love expands out from me
& just as quickly recedes

my love is misunderstood
           misinterpreted
                        (to be exclusive)



dont be so selfish with my love

                                 i would like to touch your tangle of gold
                               i would like to smooth away the tightness in your temples
                                   i would like to do...w/e you wanted w/e yer into

i am muddled i am lost
i am so
       small

it's taking longer than i thought, but ill get there, well get there

absurdity

the new frontier of relationships
is is
meeting you at a party
we have mutual friends
                      on facebook
pull out gorilla glass mounted on plastic
did you did you
send the request?
oh i found you, yer friends with _________
ok ok

& later...

insomnia drives detective scouring over all the pictures
                                         all the exes(?)
is this is this...you
is this is this...digital thing...you

& later...

you might mention a fact from the fact gathering mission
you might let it slip
that you know...nothing

incarceration

an emptiness // a lacking // the absence of substance // null
                                   「　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　」　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
you can count all the things you have the list rolls out before you on dead paper // an incomplete archive its so　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                  long
people remind you to mark a plus where it counts; but; but; but;

an emptiness // a lacking // the absence of substance // null
                                   「　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　」　　
you can reach back into the past the list rolls out before you on dead paper // an incomplete archive its so　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　


                                                                                                                  long



people remind you what to do, to do, to survive; but; but; but;

an emptiness // a lacking // the absence of substance // null
                                   「　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　」　


& we are all racing, einstein said something about the imagination being limitless, but so is the void

North Korea

can we do something about north korea
novelty t shirts aside
novelty genocides aside
can we do something about north korea?

you tried to make a period peice about the mid 90s
financial backers backed out
like a decade unfinished

what do you call the decades between 00 and 20?
is life less interesting when utilizing rare earth?

imagine me as a hybrid bing crosby and a burgess alex
rolling my hat down my arm
...eternally winking

dear Obama

while you were busy tapping fiber networks // hacking encryption data
& swearing overseas only
there were children being murdered in philadelphia

while you were busy spending money // to tap communications networks
& fund drone strikes
there were children being murdered in chicago

{murdered//starving//uneducated//cycle.cycle.cycle}

while you were busy shaking the hands of plutocrats // tapping the phone of another
& keeping tabs on terrorism
there were united states citizens starving

while you were busy with infighting in the house // to slowly erode the constitution
& maintaining a positive out look
there were united states citizens working homeless

{murdered//starving//uneducated//cycle.cycle.cycle}


{you wanna soft shoe, you wanna velvet tongue, but you tap dancing like a madman and we all got a head ache}

it wouldnt be so bad
if i didnt feel displaced
the astral plane puts me
in a different geography // reality
it wouldnt be so bad
if i wasnt in your arms
in my sleep
every night

slight of hand

the greatest trick
we ever played
was convincing the world

we were happy
while she shut down for business

we came out in pixels & streams
of data digital & happy

we got off on a veneer // sheen of blankness

the greatest slight of hand
a slip of smile
sublime shallow waters
perfect forum format
it’s all in the wrist

you said you wanted to eat my loneliness
so i asked you what it tasted like
licking lips & patting them with a napkin
you feigned thought
but without thinking
you said
"it tastes like it tastes like stardust, it tastes like a million years of evolution, it tastes like blood"
did it satisfy you, to eat my loneliness?
"no dear, it was supposed to satisfy you"

you can love a ghost
from thousands of miles
                      ...away

absence of physical presence
doesn't negate your
                     ...love

maybe the ghost can feel
the pulse of your love
from thousands of miles
                      ...away

I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I dont care about your autobiography
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I cant sleep in my bed
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
You dont love me
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement
I decided to lay on the pavement

I am going to pay more attention to this blog soon. I promise.

JW14

you took a gen ed course
"death and dying"
to get over yer lovers suicide

diagrams & Kübler-Ross & the Tibetan book of the Dead & class discussions
all up on the board

at night yer drownin
in greyhounds & ashes
slicin yer teeth on lemon rinds

a friend takes you aside:
hey
...hey
that was nearly 2
years ago
and yer still yer still
wat
a roy orbison
song she said

 erry time you feel like it's time to punch a hole in the card
(erry day // erry day)

their name comes thru your spine to yer mouth // taste of discarded life

you took a gen ed course
"death and dying"
to get over yer lovers suicide

statistics & green ways to bury a body & make a body a gem stone & class discussions
all up on the board

at night yer drownin
in PBR & a shot special
slicin yer eyes on lucky strike smoke

a friend takes you aside:
hey
...hey
that was nearly 4
years ago
and yer still yer still
wat
a lana del rey
song she said

                  but
                 erry time
                          erry time their name comes up thru yer spine to yer teeth
                                                                         you know yer not ready
                                                                         to meet//be a
                                                                         ghost just yet

Infinite Ikea

whoops i forgot about this blog, no worries, im back, please enjoy this poem:

we spent purgatory in a basement section of
an ikea
as ethereal figures
we were soon bored after dismantling
the maze of products
unable to buy anything
or leave


around pyres of fiberboard
we spoke of missing senses      (where were they)
we spoke of missing luxuries    (where were they)
we agreed that J.D. Salinger was a creep
we agreed that Frank O'Hara was cool, Anaïs Nin magnificant, and Henry Miller somewhere in between
we wondered what Nietzsche would make of our situation and thought about Marx
is this irony? we couldnt remember terms of delineation, we couldnt remember a lot
we asked eachother, do you remember the smell of exhaust, of wet asphalt, of cut grass, of laundry drying on a cold day?


we spent purgatory in a basement section of
an ikea
as ethereal figures
we turned curtains into robes
made instruments out of the housewares
discussed futile exit strategies

around pyres of fiberboard
we spoke of missing lovers      (where were they)
we spoke of missing pets        (where were they)
we agreed that we needed to get out of here
we agreed that we were dead, that we didnt know how we got here, and we were somewhere in between
we wondered what Camus would make of our situation, and again about Marx
is this eternity? we couldnt remember terms of delineation, we couldnt remember a lot
we asked eachother, do you remember the taste of heirloom tomatoes, of strawberries, of fuji apples, of lychee?


we spent purgatory in a basement section of
an ikea
as ethereal figures
we melted plastics to construct installations
felt no pain
felt only abstract longing
as we forgot to try to leave

around pyres of fiberboard
we spoke of missing family      (where were they)
we spoke of missing friends     (where were they)
we agreed that leaving was a fantasy
we agreed that we should make the best of this certain type of being, comfortable with in between
we wondered nothing about absent & dead historical figures
is this all there is? we couldnt remember terms of delineation, we couldnt remember a lot
we asked eachother, do you remember the feel of soft microfiber, of an itchy wool turtleneck, of cold steel, of wet sand?


we spent purgatory in a basement section of
an ikea
as ethereal figures...