Free Write Friday the 13th 2017

it's friday the 13th
students giggle and say jason and say date
and i say
you have a date with jason?
and she says it's friday 13
and i say oh i see
i didn't even realize the day or the date
luckily luckily luckily
i make kids say it five days a week
i'm reminded of time
i got 3 hours to kill in the teacher's room
should i tell you about the weather?
down here in the naka ward
it looks like early evening
it looks like 5pm
should i tell you it's 11:24am
they use the 24 hour clock here
so really it's just 11:24
you know you know you know
perfect for a gloomy friday
here in never never land
i sift through the news
it's all hurricanes and fires
not much has changed since 2013, but it looks like things are getting even hotter and wetter
but here it looks like a normal gloomy october day
should i go shoot some video
yeah yeah yeah
im stuck in this room
but not really not really not really
i haven't free written anything since 2013
but like i said
things seems the same but magnified
now instead of a well meaning symbol of _______________
we got a charlatan made of russian gold
yeah yeah yeah
and Abe called an early election
i ask adults
who will you vote for
i get that we Japanese don't talk about politics
we are happy with the status quo
we all have our houses and our lives
& yeah well who doesn't
i'm too american
i'm too something
some europeans surprised to hear it
you're not canadian?
does it all come down to education
or
are we wired
are we wired
are we wired
missfired
synapses
that brain man
that brain
i wish you had told you me you see hallucinations
i wish i had known you were sick
things would have made a lot more sense
is it all about me or all about you or all about them?
false dichotomy
yeah maybe george carlin was right
are all my heros men because of patrirchy // because women have been silenced since our power is proudction?
oh bb oh bb oh bb oh bb
oh bb oh bb oh bb oh bb oh
it's friday the 13th and i got a student who's got a date with jason

Monuments

in between customer calls you spent
the whole day looking at places from above
typing remembered addresses into google earth
some cultivating nostalgia
anxiety
& sadness

we can't write plots
with memories that are built from neurons and flashbulbs
but we can build roads
to archive with satellites
& we can build memories
with technology
inside storage centers
& we can view these
/w our technology as large white blocks
some addresses were odd historical curiosities
like where the largest nuclear bomb was detonated
big enough that everyone alive then
is still living with radiation in their marrow
now a small crater
or
the former block occupied by twin towers
now empty squares  and tufts of trees

we can create memories from destruction
that we call monuments
predicated on our predilection to want to remember
we can look at spaces from above
of childhood homes
old workspaces
a park we held hands
monuments
and memories
spirals of cul-de-sacs
blocks of farm land
desert communities
and the changing ice caps

our changing landscape
echoing reconstruction of memory

visceral anxiety

be cool

be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra

but im reaching out
i need to know you care
i need to know you care

be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra




did i trick you
i feel tricked
being aloof is a
state(ment) of my

be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra
be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool mantra



but im reaching out
are you there God
it’s me…{     }

new tech

snapchat suicide
notice
testing emergency broadcast systems

no one can hear it on
                               line

if the internet had an alert
would it sound like a
primitive fax scream
would we ev
                 en
                     recognise
                 it
blue screen gif virus
90s style

im already archaic
pecking gorilla glass
eyes

saturn

i say im always joking

but im really half

/serious

she said 

poking 

her finger thru 

yer smoke rings

i cant see

she said am i

expected to touch everything

her feet dragging a

long mislaid tile

i wanted to en

title my book please

kill me but it

s already taken

at a high pitched shrill

the problem is arch

iving 

&

shes the one poking

more holes in

smoke rings

/w

wreathed saturn eyes

i cant feel

am i ex

pected to?

boogie men

you traded yer time piece
for buddhist beads
after stock went down
to the boogie men
underground

how is autocorrect interpreting yer
dreams of houses and children
like a terrance malick movie

pretty & empty
pretty    empty

hollow men ride in towncars
to synth sounds

beasts roam purple mountain majesties

yer just
yer just
getting started

windswept pomeranian
hairstyles
a dog may always look like its smiling
but you always look like yer winking
in a recall of nuerons

theres a woman tapping her nails on the estee lauder counter in Macys
while a man yells from a megaphone in Ueno

simultaneous stimulations
looping loping off 

a tight 

rope

el sebae

the illusion of choice
is livin in the suburbs
we standin over corpses
from thousands of miles away


you buried her image
with yer own hands
around oxygen molecules


a cat walkin
o’er sewer grates
prayer calls
o’er skype 
international ambulance sounds


does medium
does interface
change craft
methods of output
get out that internal
trade regulation


eternity is boring
you sighed last breaths of something
as 

a cat walks
o’er sewer grates
as a murder of crows
perch on high tension lines…

post 2013

2013 hangover
you grab at empty bottles of craft beer over
crumpled designer wrapping paper
once concealing a retractable ski case & scotch rocks


she said she’ll ride in on the year of the horse
she said w/o speaking of

distance

of miles
between past geographies

its easy to see that crazy raises

hell

yer not finished
you still gotta
age & die & clutch yer knees to yer chest

subtext

a lot of us are having conversations without words
digital subtext data
digital subtext data
we arent speaking
we are looking
we are creeping
my voice has never been loud enough
submerged cities, lost cities
the ability
to maintain civility

stop looking @ nothing

i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing

i always told you i was nothing

we are nothing now fer sure fer sure

and those people are gone
and those people are gone
and those people are gone

the past does this
it rolls out behind

i know im…repeating myself
but im stepping into the future with you, now, now, now
happy new year
it’s the 2nd and im stoned and i am afraid to go back
but i am afraid to stay here

i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing

i always told you i was nothing

we are nothing now fer sure fer sure

everything has been stirred
whipped back
foamy froth memories in cool gray air, in cool gray landscapes
i think i cant breath
i think i am having another anxiety attack

i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing

i always told you i was nothing

we are nothing now fer sure

mandy

my love expands out from me
& just as quickly recedes

my love is misunderstood
           misinterpreted
                        (to be exclusive)



dont be so selfish with my love

                                 i would like to touch your tangle of gold
                               i would like to smooth away the tightness in your temples
                                   i would like to do...w/e you wanted w/e yer into

i am muddled i am lost
i am so
       small

it's taking longer than i thought, but ill get there, well get there

absurdity

the new frontier of relationships
is is
meeting you at a party
we have mutual friends
                      on facebook
pull out gorilla glass mounted on plastic
did you did you
send the request?
oh i found you, yer friends with _________
ok ok

& later...

insomnia drives detective scouring over all the pictures
                                         all the exes(?)
is this is this...you
is this is this...digital thing...you

& later...

you might mention a fact from the fact gathering mission
you might let it slip
that you know...nothing

incarceration

an emptiness // a lacking // the absence of substance // null
                                   「　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　」　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
you can count all the things you have the list rolls out before you on dead paper // an incomplete archive its so　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                  long
people remind you to mark a plus where it counts; but; but; but;

an emptiness // a lacking // the absence of substance // null
                                   「　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　」　　
you can reach back into the past the list rolls out before you on dead paper // an incomplete archive its so　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　


                                                                                                                  long



people remind you what to do, to do, to survive; but; but; but;

an emptiness // a lacking // the absence of substance // null
                                   「　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　」　


& we are all racing, einstein said something about the imagination being limitless, but so is the void

North Korea

can we do something about north korea
novelty t shirts aside
novelty genocides aside
can we do something about north korea?

you tried to make a period peice about the mid 90s
financial backers backed out
like a decade unfinished

what do you call the decades between 00 and 20?
is life less interesting when utilizing rare earth?

imagine me as a hybrid bing crosby and a burgess alex
rolling my hat down my arm
...eternally winking

dear Obama

while you were busy tapping fiber networks // hacking encryption data
& swearing overseas only
there were children being murdered in philadelphia

while you were busy spending money // to tap communications networks
& fund drone strikes
there were children being murdered in chicago

{murdered//starving//uneducated//cycle.cycle.cycle}

while you were busy shaking the hands of plutocrats // tapping the phone of another
& keeping tabs on terrorism
there were united states citizens starving

while you were busy with infighting in the house // to slowly erode the constitution
& maintaining a positive out look
there were united states citizens working homeless

{murdered//starving//uneducated//cycle.cycle.cycle}


{you wanna soft shoe, you wanna velvet tongue, but you tap dancing like a madman and we all got a head ache}

it wouldnt be so bad
if i didnt feel displaced
the astral plane puts me
in a different geography // reality
it wouldnt be so bad
if i wasnt in your arms
in my sleep
every night

slight of hand

the greatest trick
we ever played
was convincing the world

we were happy
while she shut down for business

we came out in pixels & streams
of data digital & happy

we got off on a veneer // sheen of blankness

the greatest slight of hand
a slip of smile
sublime shallow waters
perfect forum format
it’s all in the wrist