1.31.12
the words just come out of me I have no choice they coirse through my veins it’s like a run on run off word run off I don’t wanna write this for you or anyone or me its for my blodd to transfuse the words out into the screen and iconoclast I dont like what thos epoets are doing I don’t like dismantling the world language is a funny thing power structures immenient i live with the words we live with the words we use them we can not rid ourselves of the i we are the i typos abound and i want word to stop capitalizing my i s my eyes i s oppen knew the i had to turn off the auto correct and microsoft made word so hard to fucking navigate but back to the I the we the binary the linear is there a way to break and I am asking the question I am not hiding behind an experiment I am asking the question I am hiding behind this block of text I am not afraid to use the I I am not afrai of the confessional I am nand it started to cap my i s again i don’t know how to turn it off it keeps adding apostrphes and capping my i s and it is distracting when you want to write a straight block just a block the communist block Russia china, (capped Russia, but not china, b/c china also refers to platwear) I am trying not to coreect myself but just type but the machine allows for the instant edit the instant I the instant narscisim does anyone read anymore? read on dat kindle read on that kind of device and you kill the earth more than the papl trees what happens to that technology after it reaches PLANNED OBSOLESCENE it goes to china and the people pick it apart liquid mixing with liquid to make a toxic mess they will find our burial mounds dedicated to plastic I don’t wanna be a commodity and it keeps correcting my spelling but I don’t want it to I guess I will have to go back to notepad or wordpad will that auto correct the i haha no it doesnt and it wont add the unessicary marks that you need to make sense of this i dont wanna make sense i dont wanna be a commodity i dont want art i want the key board connected to my brain i want you s ot see that i am a bad speller and i make mistakes b/c i am a human and that is what we are meant to do progressively learning i am in japan and i love it here people have shown me kindness even if it is maekrd by resentment someone said that but i don’t know id=f i belive them but the i the commodity we are all as such in this century of plastic waste bits floating in the ocean forming an island i dont care for poets does that mean i dont care for myself i have always been more attuned to visual artitsts maybe jealous that i am not one and never was so the images run in their blood like the woords run in mine thats a question i am asking it this is my experiement a Bernstein like off with autocorrect off with speliing arres on with anarchy aesthetic
2.18.12
we live in a world where selling bodies is more lucrative than saving
bodies; athens is on fire and so is syria; secret nuclear wars are happening
right blow the nose and i am on this island on a slice of rock in the ocean;
knowldge is a funny thing aso the more to know about this slice of earth makes
it more anor less attractive. patriarchy is still alive and well though ancient
origins of the slice of earth were origianlly the opposite. still trying the
anracy astethic all mistakes visible and how do we avoid war if we are war
centric i don't want to be at war with words but at peace wiht them this is
deconstructing them someone said stream on consciouness and i said sure that's
what it is in a colck so i am just writing bceause it is what is always happening
inside doe of my spitfire brain; i am no good at first person but it still
appears/ description is just fine and i won't stop until i am dead and i am np
lober looking at the key board it is mearly muscle memory and i can think
daster than i can type. i am in the midde of you and you are in the middle of
me do you know what i mean therapy audience conncted to the astethic i have a
compulsion i can make beautiful descriptive verse but is worthless after i see
a picture of athens on fire on my scrn. ablaze with the proletariats wishes and
i heard someone mumble that it's their own fault and the world is trying to
shake itself clean but we wont let it bc we created this dirty thing this thing
that puts a price on all of our heads this thing that is a vehicle for
destruction it lie and syas i am your creator but we are its creator and i am
certain that if we wanted to we could destory it but we dont want to we are all
asleep sleeping with our technology i dont want there to be rules here but
there re still margins and it is my work i can not make the world better how do
i reverse hundreds of years of war we
are fighting even within ourselves i speak for all of us and i speak for myself
and heres some first person accounts of what this type of thing we live in is
doing to us all and i dont care if i
sound crazy or bitter or lame or heartfelt and i will use i as many times as i
god damnned like bc i am angry and so should you be angry with the position we
have all been put in i am not a great philospher but it doesnt take a lot of
thought to get to the conclusion that we are fucked and we fucked ourselves and
we are doomed to repeat the cylce of fucked and am i being too blunt too
uneloquent i dont think i care to give a fuck about constructing beautiful
verse bc it doesnt work its no longer applicable to the situation the solution
is not to tear it apart but rebuild in a new way or paradigm or you know thing
creation of humanity and we are like depressed adolescents not giving our minds
and hearts enough credit
2.20.12
i'd rathre write my shit poetry than do anything else my muscle memory
twitches over the keys i am pouring out on to the space of digital pixels and
it never matters just as out words have never matter and you can clal me a
nihilist and you can call me cynical because they are merely qualifies of sujectivity
qualifiers of objectivity are merely ghosts that we use to to release on the
wunwilling participants of humanity and i am tired angain and i want to be in a
different body or without a body we are in an age where we care little about
bodies the body is a commodity the thing inside the body is as well and are you
tired of my bad language (another qualifier) are you tired of this kind of
thing b/c i am not stoppping and i am talking to no one which is the beuaty of
it all i am in an age of medium tastes there is no high or low just in between
the gray area we are all skating atop the surface area of a vast stage of
mediocrity that's right its not good or bad or high or low but a nuetral gray
space of tender sleep we are not awake if we were awake none of us would be
able to live with the atrocities of money and where is my future it is taking
too long to get to some kind of golden triangle to get to the center of the
spiral the rule of all beings and i would rather write than do anything else
even if it is neutral gray and decaying as soon as i write it b/c isn't that
the present anyway isnt that the space we all occupy the ephemeral now the
thing we can never grasp so we make monuments to permanence and now we are
glued to ourselves and our machine the mecanism to make us all suffer until we
perish over and over samsara cycle freedom from suffering is to let go of that
need that desire to create permanence and i am coneptual i am not fully
realized and i do not believe we are fully resognized or realized we are all
children we are all infants we are regressing we are collapsing and someone
said dont you believe in science and i said i believe in science as much as i
beleive in humans
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