time as a rubber band

babe i just want you to know you aint speaking fer me
be careful wit them inclusive pronouns
babe you speak for you and i can relate
but you aint speaking for me
humanity wobble(s) // in between
           past   // future
the only creatures to count time
and its effect

babe i just want you to know you aint speaking fer me
livin an experience past and present is all to know
the rubber band snaps back
and it hurts the girl in 10th grade study hall
a memory she don't remember till an office job at 25

suppression is not something im interested in
babe i just want you to know you aint speaking fer me

nothing approaches more rapidly
than anything else
a minute is an hour is a day

...babe i just want you to know you aint speaking fer me

don't think i forgot all the terrible things you did bb
i just forgave you for em
held them in my elephant heart
heavy heavy
yer a repeat offender
and i should just give it up
give up your ghost
to haunt another

passing notes is dead b/c i phones

passing notes is dead b/c i phones

a decades long old teenage tradition
is dead:

papal word passing
replaced by shiny new machines
the machine is only as smart as its user
T: "chad read that text in front of the class"
C: "uhm...nothing to read..."
gets up and shows the teacher a picture of a fellow classmate in a compromising pose
chad gets a free pass to leave so the principal can collect information on the viral

passing notes is dead b/c i phones

there are two sides to your unlimited data plan
maybe more

passing notes is dead b/c i phones

teens were//are never innocent angels
their bodies are changing and so are their minds
brains LITERALLY pairing off unused synapses stored as children

passing notes is dead b/c i phones

in middle school in the 90s she got notes
things like, "i have a crush on you" or "i love you"; pencil heart margins
she didn't take selfies with an iphone
selfies with disposable cameras or an old 35mm cannon
a long process...

passing notes is dead b/c i phones

is now instant
stored data in swedish cold servers
forever forever
burial mounds of plastic data
buildings housing all yer selfies and texts and gmail chats and flickr accounts and facebook likes and blog posts...

passing notes is dead b/c i phones

4.28.13

she announced at the beginning of her creative writing class:
she was//is a marxist

no human being was more special than any other
no human being was different from any other
but then she gave some kids a C and some kids an A
nullifying her own argument

our basic needs are the same if that s what you mean ma m
food // health // shelter (gimme shelter) // love


and...


i m sitting
somewhere between ayn rand and karl marx
but it s an uncomfortable swiss made modernist chair
A: "is it the only chair we have in this gallery?"
B: "yes"
A: "shit..."

broke down systems
denim blue collar workers
how did jeans get so expensive?

she tugs on me
she tugs on me

A: "you re great"
B: "i m just average"
A: "you can be whatever you want"

telephone game:
oscar wilde whispers in my ear from beyond death
i got a paper cup tied to a string
he s saying something about decadence and walmart
but i can t quite make it out
fitzgerald chimes in and...
i say: babes we been here so many times
nitzsche is talking about eternal return and pinky twirls his mustache
ayn rand rolls her eyes... happiness is something you can buy
oppen just sits in the corner with william carlos williams
both blankly staring, refusing to play the game

A: "i love you"
B: "prove it"
A: "i can t"

intangible love lines
connected invisible blue strings
connected by data blood banks
mood dependent swing votes

people are all different and the same at once suddenly says oppen
and then i pass out

bb im yer beast
you been everything but merciful
bb im yer beast
you been everything but kind
bb im yer beast
and yer still on my mind

control

quick fix
it didn't hold up
in court
ppl are angry
ppl should be
misdirected house and senate bill a busters

"it's the chicago problem"
"it's the philly  problem"
"it's the oakland problem"

and you think...it's a human problem

but...when it happens in ct that's where we draw the line

controlled arms
from mental harm
long law arm
neo barbarians put on the best shows
quick get out yer popcorn
annie get out yer gun
the race to the quick fix has begun
they knew they wouldn't win
rigged/fixed/quick/fix/trix

deep deeper deepest
"money it's a crime"
kids knee deep
ignorant bliss
black & blue finger kiss

back up big gov you killed mlkjr and hundred of thousands of thousands of thousands (can i buy a 0; oh a vowel; sorry wrong game)

it's no slippery slope
it's a rope a dope dope

her stomach is a ball tightly wound into nothing; she holds a hand out...
neo barbarians walk past; pass control; pass go;
collect rent from board walk and mediterranean; don't forget the rail roads;
get out of jail free cards and yer a winner

mama i got the quick fix blues
& they is riding down my spine into my empty stomach
cough syrup symptoms of root issues

4.15.13 boston.iraq

today in boston
was like any other day in iraq
in fact the same day in iraq
was today in boston
but exponentially worse

middle /east
 north /east

weekly bombings

we are lucky our citizens are shit at bomb making
(don't mention drones)(back off obummer)

shit
today was bad

sectarian violence
well, we think mohammed did this
and they think he did that
we should kill each other

all fingers point domestically
tax day
yahoo defines false flag attacks
and gets it in on conspiracy theorists

suspect wearing hood; spotted near garbage bins; suburban apt complex raided

organized groups of people; reacting to enforced democracy; days before the beginning
series of car bombs killing 55
fourteen candidates killed

today in boston
was like any other day in iraq
in fact the same day in iraq
was today in boston
but exponentially worse

false intimations

the world is mine and you're just living in it
the world is hers and you're just living in it
her world is hers and she's  just living it

bby didn't i tell you about sand
didn't i whisper sand in yer ear
hard of hear
hard of her

i wasn't going to go here
b/c i have more important places to go
best we forget
lest we forget

that our tender feet need love
that our world is every one(s)
and no one(s)
so we best stop raping it
with false initmations of ownership

inexplicable insects

larva words born from flesh
hither tither
hither tither
into an ear and out a mouth
propagating against yer will
hither tither
hither tither

cicada words born from earth
17 years to resurface
to cover
to cover
the summer sounds of cicada words
clicking dancing sing song
to cover
to cover

mantis words devoured by lovers
mandibles camouflaged in prayer
she devours
she devours
no depth perception
words spinning backwards instead
she devours
she devours

honey bee words sweet humming
defending hive raiders
buzz fuzz
buzz fuzz
communicating pheromone words
spreading fruiting plant pollen
buzz fuzz
buzz fuzz

spider words spun from silk
tensile strength
tensile strength
over an entrance way corner
catching morning dew words
tensile strength
tensile strength

elitist BS (formatting in image files again and google docs and this is a draft) ok

NJ Prom

he wore his best ian curtis to the jr prom
she wore her best kim gordon
matching raspberry corsage pins
silver promise rings
'89 nissan sentra limousine

watched from the corner as the king and queen got crowned
taking sips from a flask hidden
in a bag as big as the atlantic
bumping molly in the bathroom

forgot(?) to book a room at seaside
with the rest of the kids
went under the bleachers instead
& talked until the sun came up
about dead writers and boys with eyeliner

spent the morning at the time to eat diner
tea & bagel toast /w butter and jam for her
onion rings & disco fries for him
went back to her mom's condo
& passed out on the couch to pbs
toes touching through socks

indefinite seasons

he is the north east

tough and hard

cruel and cold

unforgivable beautiful winters

snowing january birthdays 

brutal summers

blue   summers

holding hands to fate

she cut off the red ribbon for him

 he cut off the line 

they jumped ship

they took care

to solidify salted wounds

push it back to start

the blue line of time

cold december love lap sitting

hold her in your arms

before it is too late

warm august walks hand holding

split open split open

her wounds are split open

from so far away

        far away oceans; mythical peoples

day sleep; visits on the dream plane; houses we haunted as children

compassion is not a sign of weakness

forgiveness is not a sign of defeat

items in the works

item A: derivative species
she rolled her eyes back into the pink
"his music...is derivative"
no response from the peanut gallery
b/c it was in a facebook chat
and who has the time for that

...but bby we're a derivative species
there was someone doing it before you
we were all doing it before you
everything that has ever been tapped
...was tapped from humanity's existence

see: the water cycle; evaporation, condensation, precipitation, infiltration, runoff
human rivers; human oceans; derivative species
see: eternal return; amor fati; Kalachakra; Nietzsche

there's something beautiful about the beach and a grain of sand
you can ask oppen about that one


derivative///redundant elitism
bby we have crossed eons of time to be here
right now
to create
to breath
you do you i do me he do him and she do her
puh leez gurl puh leez




item B: neo barbarians; a drunk perspective
i get more google hits from neo barbarians than anything
well they're out there
and they're racist, homophobic, and wealthy

stop beatin on the system
stop beating up the system

stop...

im drunk again
and that coinage/paper controls
nam sayin
dig

item C: null
fuck your ennui
fuck your apathy
fuck your misogyny
fuck your misandry
fuck your capitalism
fuck your communism
fuck your war
fuck your peace

item D: the queen of dissolute dreams
it's the worst at night
when you try to connect the dots
{the why}
reality will never give it up, it became a pro at hiding truths and reasons after working for the US gov
be careful
or paranoia will run its course, straight through your veins; shot between the toes to avoid detection

there are fictions the mind creates
when it is racing at night
brass tax; it was his decision
despite what he may/may not have been told

fiction:
a stubborn milky woman sits inside the red den fat with animus
smokes lies like   a chimney
smokes lies into   his eyes
sits between two men in order to remain idle
they rub her milky bulbous feet and calves with divine loyalty////////out of love/fear
here/ far away/ below HER/ sits another woman
whose desire to be wanted can never be quenched\\\\\\\\\\whose self motivated needs outrun friendships
in fact there are 4 men and 2 women and THE woman

{after math}

he tells her words these words:
i like yer poem //baby
i miss you      //baby
i luv u4eva     //baby
before the massive palisade of silence was erected

it took him 3 days to build it out of match sticks: see fiction; see subterranean truths

thousands of miles apart
and people wanna tell them what love is
people wanna help her out with the trite spit:
you'll find someone better

...and don't you get it?
i don't sleep either fucker.

item E: internetz

so i wasn't hip
to alt lit
until about 20 minutes too late
and i get that literary pretense is just that
but i read/read a lot
i can't help being an information sponge
and it's all applicable really
from oscar wilde to william gibson
from oceans of sound and glass windows
slow erosion
a movement

i can listen to talking heads live from rome
as much as i like
i can't help playing a bit of a trick
i don't want to be mean
but none of you ever reblog my posts (alt lit press/meta knight etc)
and hitting the like button
is a nice gesture
but it doesn't bode well with me
you can hit that heart all you like

it don't mean you like
anything

i am coding html in notepad b/c tumblr made their interface an annoyance and so did microsoft

i'll tell you a story but you have to come close; it's a whisper, it's a shallow pond

when i was in 2nd grade mrs.funk showed me a haiku
and i was in love
i was in love with words
i got advanced placement
in math too
but numbers were always just clashing symbols and words were a symphonic arrangement
when i was a girlscout i always held the flag too long

i dont want to free write too much
but at least my writing is free
i hope i remembered to keep my old printed transcripts b/c my hard drives keep dying

the internet is ephemeral and when it crashes we will be crushed

item F: blasphemy

the easter bunny

hid the eggs but you colored them

...read the new testament

jesus didn't write it; his buddies did

and we all know how some friends can be

jesus was an aries; the ram

(i never got down with any personally

but there's still time

cuz i said goodbye to gemeni, taurus, sagitarius, capricorn, virgo, and leo)

hello pices

hello aries; hello jesus

i always thought jesus had great abs

but he's not the first guy to get crucified

and his story isn't unique

bill mahr will tell you that

haha

why am i writing this response

i was raised christian and i called bullshit pretty early on

our favorite game was stump the sunday school teacher

asking questions about gays and abortion

if god has a plan, what is it exactly? can i make installment payments? is there interest? compounded? or is it more like a 401k?

monotheism: one day "god" gets upset b/c none of the other gods wanna hang, but that's b/c he's kind of dick and kind of mean and well you get it

so he comes down to the earth, and meets up with moses, he keeps doing this every time the other gods are like

"god, would you at least be chill?

but god isn't a chill god

god's kind of like a teen boy that has a rape fantasy

god comes down again and says hey mary let's get it on, only thing is she's sleeping

but jesus was a nice guy, it's not his fault his dad is a dick

god came down a bit later and talked to muhammad (god likes the middle east for some reason he never made it over to india (shiva wasn't down with god))

god thought: well third time's the charm

and maybe god was right