love poem march 21.2012

i wanted to write you a poem
i wanted to tell you
from across the water
from this rock to the other
that it was
not true
but i could not
and you could not
and you can not

i wouldn’t know what else to do
but write these lines broken with words
b/c i am not good with words
i am not good with anything
my heart or yours

i wanted to write you a love letter
into the screen and onto yours and i don’t even know if
you
open
my emails
but i wanted to be with you in the north
and i wanted to live with you in the north
and i wanted to love with you in the north

i can only write
badly
me:
a castaway
a castoff
and is this a love letter

your body is like a ghost in mine
and i can not let it go
my mind visits you in my sleep
i visit you in my sleep
and we are happy in my sleep
we are together in my sleep
we are not lonely and sad
in my sleep

is this a poem
is this a love poem

is this something that you will read

i can not know

i was walking across a highway on a blue bridge and i thought of you
my eyes keep getting hot and they burn
and i have not been able to be happy
since you’ve decided this
the worst fate
was so sudden

is it love yet
is it too long
have i changed your mind

i have been on this rock for 3 months
and i want to be back in your long arms
in the longest arms of love